this felt like an attack 💀 i relate so much. i try to differentiate between valid and invalud guilt. So for example if i overslept fajr then thats valid guilt, but if i just misplaced a glass or did the most tiniest mistake, thats irrational guilt and i dont need to suffer the entire day with anxiety abt it, and it is true ir doesnt undo the mistake. So by stressing over something stupid thats already done all it does is give you a lot more stress. And that mistakes are normal, it is what makes you human afterall. this feeling of guilt makes you different from a bad person, who never holds themselves accountable for anything.
Mhm! All this guilt doesn't make me a 'good' person, it just makes me an anxious one. But the obsession to not be a bad person is so much that I subconsciously hold myself accountable for EVERYTHING. I'm so glad (and also not) that you could relate and liked this little post. Tysm for commenting ♡
The metaphors you used are so incredibly awesome with the right sizzle of reality. And the "wanting to be liked my everyone but not LIKING everyone" part hits so hard for me too. I'm legit going through the exact "make any mistake and you're crazy" arc as well. I highly adore this post.
No. I mean I'm over it for sure, she said it in a fit of anger and I know in a way it was a learning experience for her too. I don't like bringing up past matters that no longer effect me as much, but it was just a thing that you can't completely get rid of. At bad, bad times that moment still pops up and no amount of apologies will stop that. I know she didn't mean it and I know it isn't true, but unfortunately knowing doesn't stop the thoughts. But still tysm for your concern and reading and leaving a comment. It means a lot ♡
I’ll pursue this only one step further (unless you ask), I promise, but have you asked her what she learned? She might, after all, have put you in front of a mirror and said, “this is the face of an angel - angels try harder…” or she might have had any number of other responses. I’m saying all this because I’ve been in situations where I got used to being treated in a certain way and a friend’s shock made such a big difference.
You're right I'm not saying anything to justify her actions but it isn't something that was continuous you know? She never said it again and there are very less times where her words have stuck. I'm not use to this behaviour because it does not happen much, which is why I've let that thing go. I know it was something that happened in the heat of the moment and you don't expect such young kid to remember or take your words seriously. It was a very insensitive and hurtful thing to say to your child and it was completely wrong, her actions still affect me today but I know her actions weren't repeated and she's been much better with her anger and words. I know it sounds odd from a third person view but family is a complicated relationship. I'm not mad at her because of this, I've truly forgiven her a long time ago. But that doesn't mean I don't get to talk about it or discuss it.
Yeah, I know family’s complicated, and I know I’m stretching a point here given my promise in my last comment, but among other things I’m a parent. I’ve tried hard not to say hurtful things to my kids, but I’m sure I haven’t been perfect, and I’d love to take back anything I said that did hurt them. Maybe by forgiving your mom without telling her your take you’re actually not giving her a chance to rectify the ancient wrong. She didn’t want to hurt you, and maybe it would be good for you to hear that. Just a thought, and this really is my last unsolicited comment! Please excuse if I’ve overstepped.
No no it's completely fine I know where you're coming from. Maybe one day I will talk about it with her, you know bring it up. As of now we're going through some stuff, moving countries and shit. So I really don't wanna stress her out even more because I know she'll be super regretful about it and think about it too much. But again tysm for your concern and advice, it's really appreciated and I'm glad your kids have such a thoughtful parent. ♡
So well written✨
The metaphors are very powerful and the way you told about your personality was so raw, reavealing and striking.
A great read. 😊
Thank you!!
I feel like this a lot.
I feel guilty about everything I do almost. I feel guilty when happiness comes my way. I need to work on that 🌻 thank you for sharing this with us
Ofc. I hope you can feel better and grow out of this horrible habit. Tysm for reading and commenting, it means a lot ♡
💜
this felt like an attack 💀 i relate so much. i try to differentiate between valid and invalud guilt. So for example if i overslept fajr then thats valid guilt, but if i just misplaced a glass or did the most tiniest mistake, thats irrational guilt and i dont need to suffer the entire day with anxiety abt it, and it is true ir doesnt undo the mistake. So by stressing over something stupid thats already done all it does is give you a lot more stress. And that mistakes are normal, it is what makes you human afterall. this feeling of guilt makes you different from a bad person, who never holds themselves accountable for anything.
Mhm! All this guilt doesn't make me a 'good' person, it just makes me an anxious one. But the obsession to not be a bad person is so much that I subconsciously hold myself accountable for EVERYTHING. I'm so glad (and also not) that you could relate and liked this little post. Tysm for commenting ♡
The metaphors you used are so incredibly awesome with the right sizzle of reality. And the "wanting to be liked my everyone but not LIKING everyone" part hits so hard for me too. I'm legit going through the exact "make any mistake and you're crazy" arc as well. I highly adore this post.
Thank you!!! I'm glad you liked this hehehege
What your mother did?! I am outraged by that. Have you ever taken it up with her?
No. I mean I'm over it for sure, she said it in a fit of anger and I know in a way it was a learning experience for her too. I don't like bringing up past matters that no longer effect me as much, but it was just a thing that you can't completely get rid of. At bad, bad times that moment still pops up and no amount of apologies will stop that. I know she didn't mean it and I know it isn't true, but unfortunately knowing doesn't stop the thoughts. But still tysm for your concern and reading and leaving a comment. It means a lot ♡
I’ll pursue this only one step further (unless you ask), I promise, but have you asked her what she learned? She might, after all, have put you in front of a mirror and said, “this is the face of an angel - angels try harder…” or she might have had any number of other responses. I’m saying all this because I’ve been in situations where I got used to being treated in a certain way and a friend’s shock made such a big difference.
You're right I'm not saying anything to justify her actions but it isn't something that was continuous you know? She never said it again and there are very less times where her words have stuck. I'm not use to this behaviour because it does not happen much, which is why I've let that thing go. I know it was something that happened in the heat of the moment and you don't expect such young kid to remember or take your words seriously. It was a very insensitive and hurtful thing to say to your child and it was completely wrong, her actions still affect me today but I know her actions weren't repeated and she's been much better with her anger and words. I know it sounds odd from a third person view but family is a complicated relationship. I'm not mad at her because of this, I've truly forgiven her a long time ago. But that doesn't mean I don't get to talk about it or discuss it.
Yeah, I know family’s complicated, and I know I’m stretching a point here given my promise in my last comment, but among other things I’m a parent. I’ve tried hard not to say hurtful things to my kids, but I’m sure I haven’t been perfect, and I’d love to take back anything I said that did hurt them. Maybe by forgiving your mom without telling her your take you’re actually not giving her a chance to rectify the ancient wrong. She didn’t want to hurt you, and maybe it would be good for you to hear that. Just a thought, and this really is my last unsolicited comment! Please excuse if I’ve overstepped.
No no it's completely fine I know where you're coming from. Maybe one day I will talk about it with her, you know bring it up. As of now we're going through some stuff, moving countries and shit. So I really don't wanna stress her out even more because I know she'll be super regretful about it and think about it too much. But again tysm for your concern and advice, it's really appreciated and I'm glad your kids have such a thoughtful parent. ♡